flyingblogspot.com (tales from urban dilettantia)

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The map is not the territory, but today it will suffice.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of my maps.  And now there are two!

The first is a picture of something I’ve been working on since January; namely, the idea of sovereignty.  The idea is a work in progress, and the map is one of many spanning that progress.  I am posting it for Nathalie and Jaunita, who are right there with me when I need them.

The second is a picture of change.  Once upon a time I was the girl who could not walk across campus without tensing every muscle for fear people were looking at her.  The girl who would blush and stammer rather than hold a conversation.  The very queen of awkwardness, the non-phone-answerer, the one who declined every invitation.  Twenty years on, I am the woman who will pounce upon a friendly looking stranger with a ‘hi, I’m an enormous introvert; pleased to meet you!’  How did this happen you ask?  Still trying to work that one out, and I am posting this map for a dear friend who is on the journey too.

Pictures make me feel less mopey about the ten half-finished blog posts in my notebook. Let’s all forget about those posts and enjoy the shiny.  Or else.

Queens, Cabbages & Occupation

This morning I have the time to be down in Forrest Place, sitting at OccupyPerth. On the other hand, this morning I have the time to write about OccupyPerth, and things to say. Regrettably, they’re mutually exclusive options, since my netbook isn’t charged. And so I’m here writing, because I believe it’s the more effective use of my time. And so, at greater than expected length, this is my Perth. This is my Occupy. This is my why.

For those who are reading this from afar, a small and peaceful happening in isolated Perth likely hasn’t made your news. Yesterday, the CHOGM – the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting – opened here. It’s something that happens bi-annually in various cities, where a staggering amount of money is spent to close off public spaces, sweep the streets of the embarrassing homeless, and to host a summit of monarchs, prime ministers and presidents, not to mention war-criminals who also fall into one or another of those categories. But that’s another rant, and one that’s been well covered elsewhere.

Yesterday morning, a surprisingly large and enthusiastic protest march happened here. People came along for all kinds of reasons – a colourful and chaotic swirl of concerns that they have chosen to raise. Corporate greed, genocide in Sri Lanka, their objections to CHOGM, democracy (or rather, lack thereof) in Zimbabwe, fractional reserve banking, equal marriage, climate change, refugee rights, deaths in custody, mining, and more. All those and a profound wish to demonstrate that the shiny, sanitised face Perth has presented to the CHOGM delegates is not the city we inhabit from day-to-day. A photograph of a protester holding up a sign saying ‘shit’s fucked up and bullshit’ has been doing the rounds for the last couple of weeks, and that probably comes closest to expressing the overall sentiment.

Riot police and mounted police lined up along the perimeter of the restricted area, watching for violence that never came. Police officers herded me into the media pack, in spite of the fact that I wasn’t wearing the necessary credentials, which was surprising and pleasing given that I’d expected them to throw me out. The local media ranted about it being ‘unfocussed’. The people were there for a multitude of personal reasons, and few people agreed on all the things others were there to say. And I thought hard about it all.

Upon returning to Forrest Place, the protest shifted from the hands of the CHOGM demonstrators to those who had been working to get OccupyPerth off the ground, and people stayed there with their concerns, issues, signs and opinions. The previous month, I’d been reading a diverse mix of commentary around the OccupyX events, and until this week I’d not managed to form a consistent opinion. This month, after speaking to a number of people, and in particular one wonderful man who’d spend time at OccupySydney, my opinion has crystalised into solid support.

Like Perth’s CHOGM demonstration, I believe OccupyX isn’t fundamentally about presenting a single, coherent and targeted message or set of demands. Its value and meaning has everything to do with the stubborn occupation of a public space, generally in the face of disapproval and sometimes violent resistance, and to control that space in a manner such that people can express their frustration, anger, sadness, opinions, hopes and fears. People arrive, sometimes with well-argued concerns, but often with inarticulate, uninformed or plain incomprehensible things to say. Things are sometimes – often – organised poorly, randomly, or even in a manner that involves internal oppression within the gathering.

But the micromanagement, the perfection or otherwise, the execution, the persistent presence of only a small group of people in some cities, these things are not really the point. It’s okay for things not to be done optimally, because the point is to be there and – ever more in the face of official resistance – to occupy and to assert that we have every right to gather and to speak. To assert that we haven’t, that we can be moved away, to be told that we’ve made our point and must return home is against everything in which I believe. Return to your homes people; your government has everything under control.

Last night, in the midst of this, I had a realisation. To encroach upon the ability of ordinary people to gather and to speak of their concerns is to move collective dialogue into the domain of the privileged. The people with homes and private spaces that accommodate gathering. The people without thin common walls, and the threat of eviction in the event of such an action. The people who have never, and will never, have the experience of university that funnels many into large groups who have spaces in which to gather, but are so often elitist and alienate the working class. The people who live on our streets and simply don’t have a home.

And so (in addition to a fundamental belief that it is right for citizens to be able to assemble in a public space and to speak) no matter how bizarre, random, or even factually incorrect people’s words may seem to me, I have spent time at OccupyPerth because I cannot watch the crack-downs and removals in other cities without a rising horror that these remove the freedom to speak and organise from the people who need it most.

There will always be some measure of chaos, disagreement and sheer randomness in any movement that attempts to accommodate the ability of all to speak. Some people will inevitably be oppressed by the movement for the views they air, unfortunate as that is. Because we are human, fallible, confused, we will do things that are peculiar, strange, poorly thought out or articulated or plain half-arsed. And that is not the end of the world. The point of OccupyX is not, in the eyes of many, to evangelise, to overthrow or to charm the media or to change the whole world. It is okay not to be perfect, because the point is not, and never has been, perfection. The point of OccupyX is to occupy, and for it to exist – tautological is it is – is sufficient reason for it to exist.

Crashing back into it

Quite a long time ago, four long years ago.  Big, fancy house.  Husband.  Cats.  Three and a half years ago, suddenly looking hard at my tangled, messy, perpetual barely-hanging-on-ness.  Starting to think about ‘happiness’ even though – as many pointed out to me – this wasn’t quite the correct word, and it was prone to be confused with hedonism.  What I was trying to express was ‘rational, loving and sustainable well-being’.  But that’s too long and too difficult to explain.  So I talked about My Happiness Project.

Looking backwards for a moment, there are posts from that time on my old LiveJournal with tags like <a href=http://flyingblogspot.livejournal.com/?tag=my%20happiness%20project>my happiness project</a> and <a href=http://flyingblogspot.livejournal.com/tag/lifehacking>lifehacking</a>, arbitrary words for a much bigger thing, and recording fragments of a journey.   On that journey, I got somewhere; some great distance from the place where I had been before. It started to feel like it was somewhere I could stay forever.  And then moving out, immeasurable sadness, innumerable boxes, and constantly fighting everything down on every front.

The thing I regret the most over the last couple of years is not having had the capacity to hang onto tight the gentle, kind love for myself that I’d been carefully cultivating.  Finding that it was possible to actually <i>like</I> myself was – for various historical and then-current reasons – a great, unfolding knowledge and a completely new expereince.  It is utterly unacceptable to live in such a manner that when I look hard at myself, I sigh.

Somewhat unexpectedly over the past few weeks, the spark that triggered my first headlong crash into really, truly learning to be okay has been reignited.  I’m thinking about well-being, looking again at my mechanisms of self-sabotage, starting to clear out all the clutter – mental and physical – that has accumulated in every corner of my life.   Looking at being a woman who does something more than just hang on, just cope, just hoard every little bit of energy and sanity to be able to get up, go to work, and do it sufficiently well.

I’m waking the hell up and crashing back into it, in the passionate, enthusiastic way I crash into things when I’m  very excited.  I’m reading, re-reading, thinking, planning and considering two years’ worth of swirling chaos dissolve in the face of one little step after another.

And I’m going to write about it a little, because sometimes the best thing of all is remembering that you’re not the only one on the road.

And now.

I have all of these fragments of posts; the river, the garden, the mortgage belts, the city, maps, wanderings, chance meetings, the ends of the earth.

And – as so often – I’m not writing any of them, but am sitting around vaguely thinking about life, Rachmaninov, whisky, the universe and kitty.

I imagine it’s something to do with leaving Large Accounting Firm, painting more, raging less, and spending time at the gym and climbing, but I’ve got a peculiar feeling of being on the brink of something. Close to presque vu, but not quite. (If someone can give the correct name for what I’m feeling, I’ll buy them dinner. Fancy dinner. And then maybe we could make out on the couch and…wait, this is not the time nor the place. Ahem.)

I am given to understand that such feelings have much to do with the temporal lobes of one’s brain having a Moment which is quite exciting in itself, and I do feel it’s kinda sweet of my temporal lobes to troll me with a feeling of something, someone or somewhere soon. Pretty, existential vertigo.

For the moment, shiny illusions have not resolved themselves, and I’m currently working on settling into a new job, enjoying finally getting mobility and fitness back after the Stupid Bicycle Accident, and wondering what the next adventure will be. Oh, and propositioning a lot of people, with the goal of being Vegas-married to as many acquaintances as are willing. And so while the bigger posts simmer, find herein a small handful of links of various flavours.

Read them fast so we can run away to Vegas, sugarcube!

The Oatmeal on Tupperware

A tale of hoarding, in which I’m afraid I heard myself.

A nice idea for vertical gardening and pallet re-use.

David Foster Wallace on life and work.

Just about the best coat I’ve ever wanted.

Derek K Miller – The Last Post

20 Creative Public Works of Art

300 Days of Wikipedia

For years, I have been bookmarking articles of interest on Wikipedia.  There are several lengthy lists of Wikipedia articles floating around the web, but most of them have padded out the interesting articles with an assortment of conspiracies, UFOs and supposedly haunted houses.  And so, I thought I’d share the things that interest me – notably alien-encounter and ghost free.

While many of the articles on this list are work-friendly and generally inoffensive, do be aware that my interests sometimes stray into the gory, morbid and pornographic, and click accordingly.  If you come across any broken links, leave me a comment and I’ll fix them up.

001    2006 Mumbai sweet seawater incident
002    Acoustic Kitty
003    Acoustic Mirror
004    Action Park
005    Alexander Litvinenko Poisoning
006    Alternate reality game
007    Amber Room
008    Amelia Dyer
009    Ampelmännchen
010    Anna Anderson
011    Anscombe’s quartet
012    Ant on a rubber rope
013    Anthropic principle
014    Antikythera mechanism
015    Anti-pattern
016    Aokigahara
017    Aptostichus stephencolberti
018    Arbre du Ténéré
019    Argleton
020    As Slow As Possible
021    Assassin
022    Atari video game burial
023    Baby hatch
024    Bacon mania
025    Ballooning (spiders)
026    Battle of Los Angeles
027    Beale Ciphers
028    Committee to End Pay Toilets in America
029    Beaumont children disappearance
030    Benjaman Kyle
031    Berlin Wall
032    Berners Street Hoax
033    Bible errata
034    Bielefeld Conspiracy
035    Bigfin squid
036    Black Dahlia suspects
037    Black Swan Theory
038    Bloop
039    Bodil Joensen
040    Bogle-Chandler Case
041    Boston Molasses Disaster
042    Brainfuck (programming language)
043    Brian Wells (bank robber)
044    Bubbly Creek
045    Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
046    Burning Man
047    Cadaver Synod
048    Carl Tanzler
049    Centralia, Pennsylvania
050    Chappaquiddick incident
051    Checkpoint Charlie
052    Christine Chubbuck
053    Cincinnati Subway
054    Cleveland Torso Murders
055    Closed London Underground stations
056    Closed New York City Subway stations
057    Coastline paradox
058    Collinwood school fire
059    Collyer Brothers
060    Colonial Street
061    Color of water
062    Conspiracy 58
063    Corrupted Blood incident
064    Cosmic latte
065    Cross Bones
066    Crush, Texas
067    D. B. Cooper
068    D’Agapeyeff cipher
069    Dagen H
070    Dancing Mania
071    Dancing Plague of 1518
072    David Bain
073    Defeat in Detail
074    Defenestrations of Prague
075    Degree Confluence Project
076    Demon Core
077    Dérive
078    Digesting Duck
079    Distinguishing blue from green in language
080    Dollar Auction
081    Dorabella Ciper
082    Drake’s Plate of Brass
083    Dyatlov Pass Incident
084    Ebenezer Place
085    Eigengrau
086    Eltanin Antenna
087    Elvis taxon
088    Emperor Norton
089    Encounter
090    Enigma
091    ETAOIN SHRDLU
092    Eton wall game
093    Eugenia Falleni
094    Evolutionary psychology of religion
095    Fan Death
096    Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat
097    Fermi paradox
098    Fine Cotton
099    Flannan Isles
100    Forest swastika
101    Brown_Dog_affair
102    Friendly Floatees
103    Frost flower
104    Georgi Markov
105    Ghost stations of the Paris Métro
106    Glasgow Ice Cream Wars
107    Gloria Ramirez
108    GoldenPalace.com Monkey
109    Gravitational lensing
110    Great Fire of London
111    Great Pacific Garbage Patch
112    Green Belt Europe
113    Green Boots
114    Green Children of Woolpit
115    Gropecunt Lane
116    Guerrilla gardening
117    Guess 2/3 of the average
118    Hampton-on-Sea
119    Hannah Twynnoy
120    Harold Shipman
121    Hartford circus fire
122    Henry Darger
123    Herd instinct
124    HeroRAT
125    Hinterkaifeck
126    History of the World Wide Web
127    If-by-whiskey
128    Illegal prime
129    Information Cascade
130    IP over Avian Carriers
131    I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
132    Ivory-billed Woodpecker
133    Jandek
134    Jeanne Calment
135    Jimmy Carter rabbit incident
136    John Murray Spear
137    John Titor
138    Joseph Force Crater
139    Joybubbles
140    June 1962 Alcatraz escape
141    June and Jennifer Gibbons
142    Kasper Hauser
143    Keron Thomas
144    Kilroy Was Here
145    Kitty Genovese
146    Kryptos
147    La choutte d’or
148    Lazarus taxon
149    Le_Rêve_(painting)
150    Lead Masks Case
151    Lech mich in Arsch
152    Let’s trim our hair in accordance with the socialist lifestyle
153    Limerence
154    Lina Medina
155    L’Inconnue de la Seine
156    Lizzie Borden
157    London Beer Flood
158    London Necropolis Company
159    London Pneumatic Despatch Company
160    Lord Lucan
161    Lost Doctor Who Episodes
162    Lost Dutchman’s Gold Mine
163    Louis Slotin
164    lp0 on fire
165    Mad Gasser of Mattoon
166    Magdalene asylum
167    Manhattanhenge
168    Manor of Northstead
169    Mary Toft
170    Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion
171    Maze solving algorithm
172    McMartin preschool trial
173    Metal umlaut
174    Michael Larson
175    Michael Malloy
176    Milgram Experiment
177    Mir diamond pipe
178    Mitochondrial Eve
179    MKULTRA
180    Mobro 4000
181    Mojave phone booth
182    MONIAC Computer
183    Monty Hall Problem
184    Mornington Crescent (game)
185    Mortsafe
186    Moscow Metro 2
187    Münchausen by Internet
188    Nannie Doss
189    Nash equilibrium
190    National Hotel Disease
191    Nemesis (hypothetical star)
192    No soap radio
193    Nuclear football
194    Numbers Station
195    Oak island
196    Oliver Cromwell’s Head
197    One red paperclip
198    Onion Futures Act
199    Open source religion
200    Operation Mincemeat
201    Original Spanish Kitchen
202    Our Lady of the Angels school fire
203    Oxford English Dictionary
204    Parkinson’s Law of Triviality
205    Patent medicine
206    Patricia Pulling
207    Percussive Maintenance
208    Phineas Gage
209    Pigeon photography
210    Pirate loot problem
211    Pitch drop experiment
212    Poe Toaster
213    Poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko
214    Pole of inaccessibility
215    Post-mortem photography
216    Presecutor’s fallacy
217    Prisoner’s dilemma
218    Psychogeography
219    Publius Enigma
220    Quantum suicide thought experiment
221    R. Budd Dwyer
222    Raymond Robinson (Green Man)
223    Red Barn Murder
224    Red Rain in Kerala
225    Republic of Indian Stream
226    Resignation from the British House of Commons
227    Richey Edwards
228    Ricky McCormick’s encrypted notes
229    RKO Forty Acres
230    Roanoke Colony
231    Robert Shields (diarist)
232    Rogue wave
233    Rongorongo
234    Rosenhan Experiment
235    S. A. Andrée’s Arctic balloon expedition of 1897
236    Safety coffin
237    Sailing Stones
238    Salish Sea human foot discoveries
239    Sedlec Ossuary
240    Semantic satiation
241    Seven Bridges of Königsberg
242    Shape of the Universe
243    Shugborough inscription
244    Slow Down (unidentified sound)
245    Snuff film
246    Snuffy’s Parents Get a Divorce
247    Social engineering
248    Social traps
249    Solved game
250    Spite House
251    Spring Heeled Jack
252    Stanford Prison Experiment
253    Subterranean Rivers of London
254    Taman Shud
255    Tamworth Two
256    Tanganyika laughter epidemic
257    The Aristocrats (joke)
258    The Bottle Imp
259    The Hum
260    The Incident at Petrich
261    The Third Wave
262    Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years’ War -
263    Tidal locking
264    Tower Subway
265    Toynbee tiles
266    Tragedy of the commons
267    Trap street
268    Traveling salesman problem
269    Trepanning
270    Treva Throneberry
271    Trolley problem
272    Tube Map
273    Tulip mania
274    Tupper’s self-referential formula
275    Turritopsis nutricula
276    Tyche (hypothetical planet)
277    Tyranny of small decisions
278    Ultimatum game
279    Uncanny valley
280    Underarm bowling incident of 1981
281    Underground City, Montreal
282    Unexpected hanging paradox
283    Utah teapot
284    UVB-76
285    Valentich Disappearance
286    Verona
287    Voynich manuscript
288    Wardriving
289    Watermelon Snow
290    Whitechapel Murders
291    Who put Bella in the Wych Elm?
292    Wick Effect
293    Wicked Bible
294    Wife Selling
295    William Herbert Wallace
296    Williamson Tunnels
297    Winchester Mystery House
298    Wittenoom
299    Wow! Signal
300    Zero-sum game

Lemons, Limes & Radio Silence

Ahem. There has certainly been radio silence around here recently.

Mostly that’s because I haven’t been doing (or thinking) anything particularly interesting lately – all of my energy has been funnelled into healing up from a surprisingly serious and mobility-impairing accident, acquiring and guzzling painkillers, recovering from surgery and job hunting. Thank you to the friends who have gone out of their way to visit, go on pharmacy runs, and cut up my food while I haven’t been able to get around!

So all, it’s been a good few months for very gentle gardening projects around the cottage if not for much else.

angrygoat and I have South African Rosella (Hibiscus sabdariffa) bushes at the community garden, and they’ve been prolific and delicious. The flower calyxes have been used in Australia over the past few hundred years to make jams, cordials, syrups and teas, and are particularly easy to cook with since they contain their own pectin. They’re also the same flowers you may have seen in the fancy, super-expensive champagne cocktail syrups, something I’ve found very simple and inexpensive to make at home.

Since being instructed to take long, slow walks, I’ve been also profiting (well, saving money at least) by foraging fruit, herbs and garden plants that I find along the way. I’m turning the tiny front yard of the cottage into a wild garden this spring, planting everything I’ve been able to scavenge from verges and empty lots – tiny button daisies, groundsel, wild radishes, bittercress, alyssum, dove’s foot, fumitory, wild nettles and wood sorrel. All the bulbs I’ve planted over the last couple of autumns are coming up in-between, as are tiny sprouts from the handfuls of random flower seeds I scattered a few months back. The hope is that everything will sprout up and flower in a wild tangle by the time spring arrives. (And if not, there’s always next year.)

Button Daisies in the wild garden.

The back lanes, empty lots and council verges have also provided quite a bit in the way of food. Last week I came home with an assortment of lemons, kumquats, wood sorrel, nettles and rose hips.  The kumquats are now on their way to becoming crystallised, the nettles and some of the sorrel were transformed into a delicious green soup, and the remainder of the sorrel has been dehydrated so I can use it to make infused gin later in the year. This morning further yielded a handful of tiny mandarins, and two big pomegranates. The seeds of the latter are now in a big glass jar, packed with sliced limes and raw sugar, and topped up with some of my vanilla vodka; while I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do with the result, I’m seeing great deliciousness in its future.

Wood sorrel, lemons, rose hips, nettles, kumquats.

And finally, a request for my friends in Perth: if you (or your family or friends) find yourself with an excess of fruit, herbs, plants or vegetables, I will happily pick them if necessary and certainly take them off your hands, rather than letting them go to waste. I’ve got a dehydrator, countless preserving recipes and access to substantial amount of freezer space, so I’ll take almost anything and will be happy to repay you with some of the final result. Lemons, oranges and vegetables are welcome of course, but I’m also interested in things you might have planted for ornamental reasons – olives, pomegranates, rose hips and kumquats for example. (Or indeed things like stinging nettles, that you may not want around at all.)

Chopped wood sorrel in a colander.

Genesis 1:28

It’s time to share something I’ve been keeping largely to myself over the past few months. At this point, a few of you will jump to the inevitable conclusion: ‘babies!’ A topical conclusion, but an incorrect one.

Being born with a factory for making more of me, the question of children is one I’ve been considering for many years. At twenty, I was confident that I didn’t want to have children in the coming few years. At twenty-five, I was leaning towards the idea that I might never want children. And now, in my thirties, I feel comfortable that my path in life doesn’t involve motherhood.

I find the commonly-held expectation that one will justify the reasons for choosing not to have children to be counter-intuitive when it comes to my own decision-making process, and it is far more consistent with my own values to ask the question, ‘What are my reasons for choosing to have a child?’ And the answer to that, increasingly, has been ‘I don’t have any reasons. Not one single, persuasive reason for me to choose to bring a child into the world. I don’t even want to.’  And you know what? After a decade of asking ‘Why wouldn’t I?’ I’ve personally found it so much clearer and more meaningful to ask ‘Why would I?’ My default is different from many people’s, and that just took a little time to figure out.

After some thought and research, much contemplation of the modding of biology and an excellent conversation last month with one of the doctors at Family Planning WA, I’ve learned that surgery for tubal ligation is no longer the only option and that new fallopian implant methods such as Adiana and Essure have roughly comparable failure rates. (The doctor also made the point that IVF is available to patients who change their mind later in life; I sincerely hope it will never come to that, but it’s good information to have nonetheless.)

There are only a few gynecologists in my city who carry out the newer procedures, and those that do tend to have long waiting lists.  In fact, when I called with my referral the first appointment available to me was in mid-September. Then yesterday, I received a phone call to say that there had been a cancellation and I was welcome come in the following morning. After a moment of anxiety about the sudden change in timing, I said I’d be very happy to take the appointment. (My appreciation to the woman who cancelled; perhaps you’re still thinking it over, or have changed your mind. Maybe you’re even pregnant now. Whoever you are, I hope that your choices are happy and fulfilling ones .)

And so today I went to the appointment, had another excellent conversation with the gynecologist, and the upshot is that I’m scheduled to undergo day-surgery next month. Being an anxious person at the best of times, I did wonder how I’d feel after the decision was made. It turns out that I feel calm, contented and right, which is the best possible outcome.

Much gratitude goes out to the people I’ve told privately. I’ve heard some war stories from friends who have chosen to go down the same path, and the support, rationality and non-judgmental conversations I’ve enjoyed have made this a far happier and less frustrating choice than it might otherwise have been. And much love to my small friends, relatives and godchildren; so many bright and clever and compassionate small people, whom I’m hopeful will grow into bright and clever and compassionate big people. You will always be a part of my journey, and the time I spend sharing, learning and talking with you will be one of my many gifts to the future.

Now to add some levity to this Thoughtful and Serious Business, let’s all sit back and enjoy a few relevant xkcd comics. (xkcd: Always related.)

Advanced Technology
Babies
Natural Parenting

In Which I Learn Things About Safe Spaces

Due to an unusual intersection of the Easter break and Anzac Day, Australia enjoyed a glorious five day weekend, some of which I spent at the Swancon/Natcon science fiction and fantasy conference. (Until I ran out of human interaction capacity, upon which I returned home to hibernate. By which I mean, play Portal 2.)

Good times were had, and this year I had the honour of being invited to sit on the Safe Spaces panel, in which we talk about communication, situation management, consent and boundaries. Sometimes, Safe Spaces can be quite contentious (the irony!) as it’s a topic on which people have very diverse and strongly-held views.  By the time it was about to begin I’d catastrophised myself into thinking it was going to be a bloodbath of some sort and that everyone would yell at me. I can be a bit of a dork like that.

Fortunately, that wasn’t the case at all and we were able to cover a range of views and practical techniques to address various social situations. I brought some of my recent militancy to the mix, in addition to the discussions of more gentle and effective communication, and no-one appeared to glare at me nor tell me I was a horrid person who was Doing It Wrong.  (I worry somewhat excessively about being yelled at and told I’m a horrid person who’s Doing It Wrong, even if I don’t believe it.)  In the process, I learned a couple of things from the audience and from the other panellists that I think are worth sharing here.

Firstly, I had a moment where I realised that I’ve been coming at this from a place where I’ve always been something of a doormat and people-pleaser.  I’ve been working on standing up for myself and others, and on being assertive and outspoken. This has been immensely helpful, since I was raised to be a Good Catholic Woman who avoided causing offence at all costs, and it has certainly helped me realise that I don’t have to please everyone and that it isn’t necessary for everyone to like me. However, a certain comment led me to the realisation that it’s not a black and white issue and that there’s no need to beat myself up if I choose to be polite, tell a convenient white lie or not fight a particular battle. We use the tools we have, and it’s as valid to be kind, distant or evasive as it is to be blunt, honest and assertive – neither is reprehensible or inappropriate, and both approaches can be useful and practical.

Secondly, I was reminded that those things that are obvious to me are not obvious to everyone. Listening to one of my co-panellists talk about the value of learning to ask her loved ones to respect her boundaries and preferences – in her case, a strong aversion to physical contact in many circumstances – initially had me thinking ‘Well, of course I tell my friends clearly what I need, and they work with it. That’s what people who care about you do.’ However, I then remembered being an extremely sheltered eighteen year old who was so worried about fitting in that she would never have asked a friend to stop (or start) doing something to make herself comfortable. It’s good to circle back to such points in a mixed group; as obvious as they may seem to a thirty-something woman who’s been talking about this for years, they’re can also be the catalyst for someone else to realise it really, truly is okay to ask openly for a specific kind of consideration. I, for one, had almost forgotten the experience sucking up anxiety and distress, and hiding my discomfort for fear of being thought strange and difficult.

In short, no-one shouted at me, I said my bit and learned stuff. Good times.

A House on Highgate Hill

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been having a ridiculous amount of fun with The National Library of Australia’s Trove database.  In addition to the archive of photographs, letters, audio and other historical records, it also contains a vast library of newspapers going back well into the 1800′s.  The most exciting thing about this is that the library has used text recognition software to make all of the articles searchable, and crowd-sources corrections where the text recognition hasn’t property transcribed an article.

Among other things, it occurred to me to run a search for my address.  The Family Notices section of The West Australian was particularly fruitful, yielding notices of births and deaths that had occurred at the property dating back many years, and the classified advertisements indicated that the front room had been repeatedly rented to various boarders. (“Well Furnished Front Bed-sitting Room, tea and toast, suit gent, 7/6.“  I resent the present lack of a tea and toast service.)

After an hour or so of reading, I came across a newspaper article reporting on an inquest into the death of an elderly lady in my cottage in 1950.  Apparently Florence (76) lived alone and hadn’t been seen for several days, so neighbours alerted a local police constable living nearby. Upon looking through the windows he discovered Florence’s body in the sitting room, with a bottle of kerosene and matches nearby.   The coroner determined that she had died from smoke inhalation and burns while treating the floor for white ants.

As a relatively unsqueamish amateur historian, I had a look around for evidence of the fire.  And behold, in my living room, there were some scorch marks indicating an accelerant pattern (why yes, I have been watching those dodgy crime docos again), as well as a section where the floorboards had been replaced, so now I know which window the constable looked through and found Florence’s body.

As it happens, the Metropolitan Cemeteries Board in Western Australia also has an excellent online database and I was able to look up the location of Florence and her husband Albert’s grave in Karrakatta Cemetery.  And so, last weekend, I headed over to Karrakatta accompanied by fellow local history enthusiast angrygoat with a bunch of flowers to see where she was buried.  We found the grave easily thanks to the excellent online lookup, and were pleased to see that the plot had not yet been renewed, and that the original headstone was still in place.  It looked like it had been a very long time since anyone had tended the plot, so it was rather nice to visit and leave some roses.  (We also had a lovely walk through the rest of the cemetery, and were interested in the way various cultural groups had very specific types of memorial; we particularly liked the section near the entrance to the war graves lawn where all the plots had been decorated with pot-plants, homemade markers and borders from the hardware store.)

Some further investigation of newspapers and genealogy sites via Google filled in Florence’s background and family history, which I’ve footnoted due to length and detail.[1] It’s not particularly readable, but it’s a good illustration of the wealth of historical information accessible online.

While trawling through the Trove database, I’ve also discovered the most fascinating things about my local area – some sad, some creepy, but many amusing and interesting.  If you’ve got a spare hour, I heartily recommend checking it out; it’s a great example of a library utilising technology and provides easy access to a wealth of information which would otherwise be unsearchable and only stored physically on microfiche.

[1] Florence was born in Menindie (now Menindee) in New South Wales in 1876 and her sister Matilda (Till) was born in Wilcannia in 1877.  She also had a third sister, Mabel Maud, born in 1880.  In 1892, her widowed mother (a midwife) made the journey to Perth with her daughters, where she married her second husband, a tailor named William, and had two more children – Arthur (1886) and Willis (1891).

William, had been one of 254 convicts transported to Western Australia in 1867 on the Norwood.  He was convicted in Shrewsbury at the age of 25 years for a term of 10 years, for the crime of rape.   In May 1881, three and a half yards of dark tweed were stolen from William’s tailoring shop, with Michael Ennis reported as a suspect.  William moved his tailoring business from William Street to premises on Barrack Street in 1895.  He died in Fremantle in 1903, was described as ‘husband of Mrs Weeks, Nurse’ and is buried in Fremantle Cemetery.

Sarah Jane testified in 1888 at an inquest in Perth into the death of an elderly woman  who had lived with she and her husband, and was killed in a hit-and-run accident by a man riding a horse in Perth ‘at a needlessly rapid pace through the street on a dark night’.  Sarah Jane died in 1912 in Northam, leaving her daughter Matilda a sum of 34 pounds and fifteen shillings in her will.

It appears that Florence fared better than her sister Matilda who married a Queenslander of German descent named Frank, and they settled in Narrogin in the Western Australian wheatbelt.  Frank was a Roman Catholic – Florence and Matilda appear to have been from an Anglican family.  He and Matilda had eight children, and she died in 1932 in the local hospital at the age of 56, after drinking caustic soda.  Frank died in 1943.

Mabel Maud married a widower named William and moved to Galena, near Geraldton where she was a stepmother to William’s children from his first marriage and mother of her own.  After William’s death, she married Joseph and they moved into my neighbours’ cottage where Mabel Maud and her husband both died in 1947.  She seems to have been a well-liked lady, with bereavement notices in the newspaper from friends as well as family.  Florence’s half-brother Arthur appears to have lived at the same address, where he died in 1949.

Willis lived in Merreden and York, and died in 1961 in Subiaco, having married a man named James in York (the Western Australian one, not the English one) in 1911.  James died five months after his wife.  They had seven children and two of her sons died during the Second World War, in Papua New Guinea and Crete respectively.  In 1951, James retired from his position as a fireman for the WA Government Railways, and applied to the magistrate for his tenant to vacate his house in Subiaco, as he would have to quit the railway cottage in which they were residing at the time.

Further Dispatches from the Perth Geek Underground

(Heads up – This one is pretty triggery, particularly regarding rape. Consider yourself warned.)

Thank You; Yes You!

The response to my Resistance Is Useful essay, from both men and women, has been fabulous. I’ve had many enthusiastic discussions on Twitter, seen it reposted on LiveJournal and Tumbler and personal blogs, and had some great and challenging private conversations as a result. It seems that managing situations where an otherwise decent person accidentally or obliviously crosses boundaries is something that is of particular interest to many of you, and given the lack of tools our society gives us to deal with such situations, it’s understandable.

I truly believe that boldly talking about these issues – both of intentional and non-intentional transgression – instead of hiding them in dark corners is for the best, and it’s really lovely to see so many Perthites taking part in this. You are good people, you are responsible for the positive change that has already occurred, and you will be the catalyst for the positive change to come.

I Get Comments

I’m not keen to censor well-considered and constructive criticism, as I’m well aware that certain internet media propagate a disproportionate number of ‘I do agree’ responses. On the other hand, I’m not into approving comments from trolls. (A Very Special Hello to MikeUSA who posted a particularly vile comment and appears to post similarly abusive content all over the web. Thank you for severely testing my abilities to refrain from setting you on fire, Mike. Good times.)

However, I was unsure how to deal with one particular comment from the charming (for certain values of ‘charming’) Mark, a fellow Perthite. A friend suggested adopting an MST3K / Pharyngula ‘I Get Mail’ approach of sharing it and marking it up with my comments, rather than approving it. I appreciate that a number of you know this guy (that’s Perth for you) and it may be a little socially awkward for me to lay into him. But then, sucking up the social awkwardness and speaking out in spite of it is exactly what I’ve been talking about.

Welcome to the world. [Well hello there.] It is not a safe place and only children think it is. [It's nice that you had that experience as a child. I didn't.] You are now sufficiently paranoid that you can no longer be considered a child, congratulations. [Do I get Moët and a present for graduating? I hope so.] I, personally, am rather tired [Sorry to bore you.] of hearing about children of adult ages [From the context of the post upon which you are commenting, I can only guess this is an interesting and creative way of saying 'women'.] who have not developed sufficient paranoia to avoid getting drunk at (or even entering) [I left the house. What was I thinking?] parties full of strangers without many friends. [It seems you exist in a glorious parallel universe where women are largely assaulted by strangers, rather than friends, family, colleagues and/or people they've known for a long time. Please tell me how I can travel there.] No, I am not being facetious or mocking [I know, you're just unable to read for meaning.] I truly think that there is only one person who can be held responsible for my safety, and that’s me. [I appreciate you bringing your privilege to the table. It's shiny. I feel so pleased for you to hear that your safety is a personal problem rather than a structural and cultural one; that must be feel good.] I apply the same policy to other people, trust no-one. [Thanks for all your hard work to make the world a better place and/or your unwavering dedication to quoting the X-Files.]

In short, thanks Mark, for posting rape apologism in response to a post about rape apologism. It’s sweet of you to play to my love for recursion and irony.

I’d like to mention here, for what it’s worth, that not a single friend of mine has informed me of being raped by a stranger, nor of having taken a sexual assault case to the police. But quite a number of my friends have been raped and assaulted nonetheless, and every one by someone they knew.  And this, this is why I wanted to share Mark’s comment rather than hiding it away – because we all know people who put forward this argument as if it were rational, but it’s full of embedded assumptions about how women are harmed by strangers, largely because of their own foolishness.  To make this argument is not only a failure to acknowledge reality, but also an irresponsible distraction from – and argument against – doing anything that may help mitigate the problem.  We are harmed by trusted fathers, brothers, lovers and friends.  We are harmed by the devil we know.

The Flying Blogspot will return to your regular menu of ‘Today I Ate Soup’ posts, local history (I have a great post about my cottage’s former residents in the works!) and banality shortly, but for a few more days, enjoy the love and rage.

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Flying Empire

Helen is interested in an unreasonable number of things, including the wide and wonderful universe, happiness, well-being, wine, optimal human experience, non-violent communication, complex systems, existential nihilism, rationality, technology, grassroots organising, cacophony, music, creativity, learning and love.

She is a cat-loving, game-playing, TV-quoting, financial-modelling, bunny-adopting, art-making, bird-watching, garden-tending, war-protesting, chicken-keeping, verge-scavenging, tech-obsessing, film-geeking, music-listening, bike-riding, book-reading creature and many more creatures besides.

            

Mirrored current posts, lots of lovely comments, and archives dating back to 2003 are over at LiveJournal.

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